So I actually leave today and stuff… I can’t believe the day has arrived. It’s been a hectic couple of weeks finishing everything at work and concurrently having a series of small saying-goodbyes. I decided not to do a huge event because it always stresses me out to have folks from different friendship circles being together in one place… not talking to each other… and looking at you to talk to them! That sounds a bit selfish but really I think it’s nicer to catch up with people on a smaller scale over time.
So there have been dinners, lunches, breakfasts, drinks, coffees… and somehow I have managed to incorporate alcohol into most of these catch-ups no matter the time of day. This brings me to my next topic… avoidance. As the time to leave has come closer and closer, my brain has been doing a weird dichotomous dance of taking me through the practical motions of moving my life, whilst building up a nice comfy state of denial. All of this has been quite pleasant, albeit with an underlying current of anxiety.
It makes me a bit worried that I’ll suddenly go mental at the airport, but oh well. The longest I have ever gone away was for 3 months, and I was able to leave all of my things in my house because my ex-boyfriend was living in our room. This time I have had to move, categorise and re-pack (or discard), every single one of my possessions. This may not sound so significant, but I have been struck by the overhwelming amount of STUFF I have! Seriously, and I still can’t bring myself to get rid of it. Unfortunately my parents will be storing a box of old ticket stubs, filled-up notebooks, un-filled-up postcards and exhibition passes from my past travels… probably forever.
I’m off to have one last coffee and pick up all of my pharmaceuticals that I left at my old house… and then it’s off to the airport this afternoon. Contrary to my initial feelings of wanting to be óff the grid’whilst in New Zealand, I went out and bought an Acer Aspire One laptop yesterday. It has a 10″ monitor and pretty good ‘specs’ (ha) so it should be good to travel with. Off the grid… who am I kidding… I love the internet!
Pretty excited about my two books I’m taking with me… one is the Zombie Survival Guide bought for me by my housie Sharna and her girlfriend Cinnamon. I am slightly obsessed with zombie culture and am convinced that I would be an awesome leader in a small band of survivors. I have read a few pages already and have agreed and disagreed on a few points… I’m going to be pretty engaged with that book. Also, my friend has been reading furiously for the past few days trying to finish the sequel to a ridiculous (we both agree it’s ridiculous) novel called Crosstitch. I am a fantasy reader from way back… I’m talking plucky antagonists undertaking epic journeys through time… usually residing in a castle and having to master some kind of magic or combat skills in order to fulfill their destinies as the çhosen ones’. I don’t know why… more avoidance? Crosstitch is all of that… with the added bonus of the antagonist being a woman… and her epic journey through time leads her to fall through some magic stones into Scotland, 200 years ago. AND… the skills she has to master aren’t so much based about fighting and wizardry so much as getting it on with Jamie McTavish – a hot Scot strutting around in a kilt and oozing masculinity. So lame… but so éngaging’. I have an image of me in the future being an awful old cougar surrounded by Mills and Boon… oh well. My friend has finished the book and will be giving it to me at the airport.